I asked the Google search bar...

I asked the Google search bar: Write a funny script in which Hari Krishna and Shiva decide how to decorate Trump's new whitehouse ballroom. Shiva should be creatively destructive. They call the Pope for an opinion. The Pope is still smarting from the abuse Trump just gave him on Truth Social. Here's the response: [SCENE START] INT. THE NEW WHITE HOUSE BALLROOM - NIGHT The room is a blinding assault of 24-karat gold leaf, Corinthian columns wrapped in faux-alligator skin, and a massive neon sign that reads: THE TRUMP ULTIMATE ROOM OF CHAMPIONS . HARI KRISHNA sits cross-legged on a velvet sofa, blissfully strumming a hand-drum. LORD SHIVA stands in the center of the room, leaning on his trident, his blue skin glowing under a massive crystal chandelier. He looks profoundly, cosmically offended. SHIVA Hari, my third eye is practically vibrating out of my skull. The sheer density of this gaudiness is disrupting the space-time continuum of the entire East Coast. I cannot just stand...

 I asked the Google search bar: Write a funny script about breaking news.  In a surprise move Denmark annexed Canada, consolidating its empire.  Greenland is like WTF.  US says it was their idea first.  Canada is now EU.  Biblical prophecy realized! Here's the response: [SCENE START] INT. GLOBAL NEWS DESK - NIGHT An URGENT NEWS BULLETIN graphic flashes across the screen. Explosions of dramatic synth music play. WOLF BLITZ-PUNCHER, a seasoned anchor with perfectly shellacked hair, stares into the camera with wild, unblinking eyes. WOLF Breaking news tonight. Put down your dinners, citizens, because geography as we know it has just been violently deleted. In a shocking, completely unprovoked bureaucratic ambush, Denmark has officially annexed Canada. (beat) Yes, you heard that right. The Kingdom of Denmark now owns the second-largest landmass on Earth. Joining us live from Nuuk is Greenlandic Foreign Minister, ANAKA NUK. INT. GREENLAND PRESS ROOM - CONTINUOUS...

 I asked the Google search bar: In an earlier story God had just woken up after a 6000 year nap, and come to terms with Iran.  He can't get back to sleep.  He is itching to do something, He calls to the angels for ideas to get rid of shitty people.  Note that God is a strict minimalist when it comes to intervention. Here's the response: God tossed and turned on his golden mattress, but the cosmic caffeine of twenty-first-century geopolitics was pumping through his veins. He couldn't get back to sleep. He was restless. He was itching to do something, but he had a strict reputation to uphold. God was a hardcore minimalist when it comes to divine intervention. No more splitting seas, no more global floods, and absolutely no raining frogs. It was too messy, too high-maintenance, and frankly, terrible for the ecosystem. He snapped his fingers, and a dozen archangels—including Gabriel and Michael—materialized in a neat, panicked line before the throne. "Listen up," God ...

I asked the Google search bar: Write a funny story about Canada outsmarting Trump on the trade deal with flattery. They should subtly pretend to be unhappy about what a good negotiator Trump is.  The Canadians should habitually apologize for their flattery and small ridiculous Canadian gifts though. Here's the answer. The Canadian Prime Minister stood at the Mar-a-Lago press podium, his face a mask of carefully rehearsed, agonizing defeat. Behind him, the Canadian negotiating team was subtly biting the insides of their cheeks, desperate to hide their grins after successfully saving Canada’s entire export economy using nothing but weaponized compliments and a box of maple-infused treats. The Apologetic Ambush Hours earlier in the boardroom, the strategy relied on a highly specific tactic: flooding Donald Trump with intense flattery, then immediately apologizing for how forward, small, and utterly Canadian they were being. The Opening Salvo : "Mr. President," Canada's c...