Trump's negotiates his 11th commandment

 I asked the Google search bar:

write a funny story about Donald Trump beamed back to Moses delivering the 10 commandments. Trump wants a commandment not to open the Epstein files.

Here's the response:

The mountain peak trembled, and a sudden, jagged bolt of lightning ripped through the air above Mount Sinai. When the smoke cleared, Moses—midway through engraving the very first tablet with the finger of God—gasped. Standing directly between him and the divine cloud was a man with aggressively sculpted blonde hair, a very long red tie, and an unbuttoned suit flapping fiercely in the desert wind.

"Moses, Mo—great guy, terrific guy—listen to me," the figure boomed, adjusting his cuffs. "We need to talk about these tablets. The list is beautiful, perfectly drafted, maybe the best list ever, but quite frankly, it’s missing a tremendous addition. Nobody loves a commandment more than me, believe me. But we need a special, very beautiful 11th Commandment. A perfect commandment."

Moses stared, his chisel frozen in mid-air. "The Lord God Almighty gave us exactly Ten..."

"Forget the ten for a second," the man interrupted, waving a hand dismissively. "The ratings on those ten? Very average. Needs more sizzle. What we really need, and everyone is saying this, is a rule that says: 'Thou shalt absolutely not open, leak, or look at the Epstein Files.' Very nasty stuff in those files, a total witch hunt, really. We keep them totally sealed, locked away, beautiful metal cabinets. No one reads them. Total immunity. It’s perfect."

Just then, a voice like rolling thunder rumbled from the storm cloud above, making the gravel dance at their feet. "I AM THE LORD THY GOD," it boomed, causing the tie to flutter wildly. "WHO BROUGHT THEE OUT OF THE LAND OF EGYPT. AND THOU SHALT—"

"Excuse me, excuse me!" the man barked right back up at the sky, pointing an accusatory finger. "Egypt was a disaster. Total ruin. The pyramids? Falling apart. You should be thanking me for all this free advice. The fake news clouds are saying I did things with islands, but I built a perfect island, a tremendous island. We aren't opening any files. We're going to make the 11th Commandment the best commandment. We're going to win so much on this, you'll be begging me to write more."

Moses looked at the man, then looked up at the increasingly furious storm cloud. He dropped his chisel into the sand, sighed deeply, and whispered to the stranger, "I don't think He does 'deals.'"

Suddenly, the sky lit up with a blinding flash of light. When Moses opened his eyes, the red tie and the suit were entirely gone. The mountain fell into an eerie silence, leaving just the sound of a new, perfectly etched chiseled line on the stone: Thou shalt not bear false witness.

Moses looked at the tablet, sighed again, and picked up his hammer. "Well," he muttered to the wind, "at least he didn't try to change the Sabbath to a golf outing."