Trump reacts to the Sermon on the Mount
I had Google write me some humorous movie scripts. I asked:
Let's have someone famous deliver the sermon on the mount for Trump, and have him react to it.
Here's the result:
TITLE: THE SERMON ON THE BLUFF
CHARACTERS:
- MORGAN FREEMAN (80s): The legendary actor. Impeccable white suit. A voice like warm honey and absolute moral authority. He is reading directly from a leather-bound Bible.
- DONALD TRUMP (70s): The President. Sitting behind the Resolute Desk, listening but constantly trying to "improve" the material.
- AGENT MILLER (40s): Secret Service. Standing behind Trump, serving as the audience’s emotional anchor through facial expressions alone.
[SCENE START]
INT. OVAL OFFICE - DAY
MORGAN FREEMAN stands in the center of the room. The lighting naturally softens around him. He clears his throat—a sound so resonant it makes the desk clutter vibrate.
Trump sits with his arms crossed, leaning forward like a judge at a talent show.
FREEMAN
(Reading with deep, cinematic gravitas)
"Blessed are the poor in spirit... for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
(Reading with deep, cinematic gravitas)
"Blessed are the poor in spirit... for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
TRUMP
(Holding up a finger)
Hold on, Morgan. Love the voice. Shawshank? Fantastic movie. Tremendous prison. But "poor in spirit"? It’s a weak opening. Very low energy. You want to start strong. "Blessed are the winners. The top tier." People don't want to hear about poor spirit, believe me.
(Holding up a finger)
Hold on, Morgan. Love the voice. Shawshank? Fantastic movie. Tremendous prison. But "poor in spirit"? It’s a weak opening. Very low energy. You want to start strong. "Blessed are the winners. The top tier." People don't want to hear about poor spirit, believe me.
Freeman stops. He looks over the top of his reading glasses at Trump. He blinks slowly, letting the silence do the heavy lifting.
In the background, Agent Miller closes his eyes and exhales through his nose for a full five seconds.
FREEMAN
(Resuming, ignoring the note)
"Blessed are those who mourn... for they shall be comforted."
(Resuming, ignoring the note)
"Blessed are those who mourn... for they shall be comforted."
TRUMP
Mourning is okay, but it’s a downer. You gotta pivot to the comeback. "Blessed are those who mourn, but then they make a massive deal, the biggest deal you've ever seen, and suddenly they're back on top." That’s what the people want, Morgan. Hope. Growth.
Mourning is okay, but it’s a downer. You gotta pivot to the comeback. "Blessed are those who mourn, but then they make a massive deal, the biggest deal you've ever seen, and suddenly they're back on top." That’s what the people want, Morgan. Hope. Growth.
FREEMAN
(Voice dropping an octave, commanding)
"Blessed are the meek... for they shall inherit the earth."
(Voice dropping an octave, commanding)
"Blessed are the meek... for they shall inherit the earth."
Trump bursts out laughing. He looks back at Agent Miller.
TRUMP
Did you hear that, Miller? The meek inheriting the earth? In this real estate market? With interest rates where they are?
Did you hear that, Miller? The meek inheriting the earth? In this real estate market? With interest rates where they are?
Miller’s face remains perfectly still, but his right eyebrow raises so high it nearly disappears into his hairline. He looks directly at the camera, his eyes screaming, “Please do not let him buy the earth.”
TRUMP
They’ll get crushed on the capital gains tax alone, Morgan. The meek aren't inheriting anything unless they have a very good lawyer. I know the best lawyers.
They’ll get crushed on the capital gains tax alone, Morgan. The meek aren't inheriting anything unless they have a very good lawyer. I know the best lawyers.
FREEMAN
(Closing the Bible slightly, his tone shifting to a gentle but firm rebuke)
"Blessed are the merciful... for they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the peacemakers... for they shall be called sons of God."
(Closing the Bible slightly, his tone shifting to a gentle but firm rebuke)
"Blessed are the merciful... for they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the peacemakers... for they shall be called sons of God."
TRUMP
(Leaning back, tapping his chin)
Peacemakers. See, I agree with that one. I’m a peacemaker. No one makes peace like me. I’d walk right up to the Romans, I’d say, "Fellas, what are we doing here? Look at these crosses. Terrible optics. Let’s do a golf course instead." Peace in 24 hours. Done.
(Leaning back, tapping his chin)
Peacemakers. See, I agree with that one. I’m a peacemaker. No one makes peace like me. I’d walk right up to the Romans, I’d say, "Fellas, what are we doing here? Look at these crosses. Terrible optics. Let’s do a golf course instead." Peace in 24 hours. Done.
Freeman takes a deep breath. The room seems to dim slightly as he channels the full weight of his cinematic filmography.
FREEMAN
"Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven..."
"Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven..."
TRUMP
(Slapping the desk, pointing aggressively)
Now that I like! Finally! Total witch hunt! They’re talking about fake news, Morgan. The failing New York Times, the Pharisees—terrible people, very unfair coverage.
(Slapping the desk, pointing aggressively)
Now that I like! Finally! Total witch hunt! They’re talking about fake news, Morgan. The failing New York Times, the Pharisees—terrible people, very unfair coverage.
Trump stands up, walks over to Freeman, and claps him on the shoulder.
TRUMP
See? It’s a good script. Just needs a rewrite. A little polish. We’ll call it The Sermon on the Trump International Mount. We’ll charge admission. Beautiful seating.
See? It’s a good script. Just needs a rewrite. A little polish. We’ll call it The Sermon on the Trump International Mount. We’ll charge admission. Beautiful seating.
Trump walks out of the office, muttering about branding opportunities for bread and fish.
Freeman stands alone with Agent Miller.
Freeman looks down at his Bible, shakes his head slowly, and looks up at Miller.
FREEMAN
(In his iconic narration voice, echoing in the room)
"And so, the agent realized that some mountains... were simply too steep to climb."
(In his iconic narration voice, echoing in the room)
"And so, the agent realized that some mountains... were simply too steep to climb."
Miller doesn't move a muscle. But a single tear slowly tracks down his left cheek. He reaches into his pocket, pulls out his sunglasses, puts them back on in the dim room, and nods once to Morgan Freeman.
[SCENE END]
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