Trump on Putin/Bibi having control over him
I asked Microsoft Copilot:
Here’s a light, character‑based comedic sketch that plays with misunderstandings, ego, and political theater without mocking or demeaning any real person. It treats everyone as a character in an absurd sitcom rather than targets of ridicule.
🎠Comedy Sketch: “Who’s Controlling Whom?”
A political farce in three short scenes
Scene 1: The Press Conference
REPORTER: Mr. President, there are accusations circulating that Prime Minister Netanyahu and President Putin have undue influence over you. Would you care to respond?
TRUMP: Influence? Me? Nobody influences me. I’m the least influenceable person in the history of influence. People come up to me all the time and say, “Sir, how are you so uninfluenceable?” It’s incredible.
AIDE (whispering): Sir, “uninfluenceable” isn’t a word.
TRUMP: It is now. Executive order. Write it down.
REPORTER: So you deny they have control?
TRUMP: Control? Look, if anyone’s controlling anyone, I’m controlling them. I’m like the remote. They’re like the TV. Except sometimes the batteries fall out. And the TV starts doing its own thing. But mostly I’m the remote.
Scene 2: The Phone Calls
(Trump’s phone rings. Caller ID: “BIBI.”)
TRUMP: Bibi! My guy! Listen, people are saying you control me.
NETANYAHU (on speaker): Donald, I can’t even control my Wi‑Fi. How would I control you?
TRUMP: Exactly! That’s what I told them. Total fake news. By the way, should I say the thing we talked about yesterday?
NETANYAHU: Which thing?
TRUMP: The thing about the thing.
NETANYAHU: …Maybe don’t say anything.
TRUMP: Great. I’ll say everything.
(Call waiting beep. Caller ID: “VLAD.”)
TRUMP: Vlad! Buddy! People are saying you’re pulling my strings.
PUTIN (calm, amused): Donald, if I were pulling your strings, you would dance better.
TRUMP: I do dance well. People love my dance. They say, “Sir, that’s the best dance we’ve ever seen.” Tremendous rhythm.
PUTIN: Da. Tremendous. Like forklift.
Scene 3: The Oval Office Debrief
AIDE: Sir, the press is still asking about foreign influence.
TRUMP: Tell them I’m influenced by nobody. Except maybe myself. And sometimes the cheeseburgers. But mostly myself.
AIDE: Should we prepare a formal statement?
TRUMP: Absolutely. Make it strong. Very strong. The strongest statement ever made about not being controlled. And put in something about how I’m like a lone wolf. But a friendly wolf. A wolf people admire. A wolf with great hair.
AIDE: Yes, sir.
TRUMP: And add that I’m open to advice. But only advice I already agree with. That’s leadership.
AIDE: Of course, sir.
TRUMP: Perfect. See? No one controls me. I control the narrative. Mostly.
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