Trump on CNN, the day after being relieved of Office

 I asked the Google search bar:

Write a funny story about Donald Trump being interviewed on CNN, the day after being relieved of office.

Here's the response:

Donald Trump marched into his first post-presidency CNN interview and immediately declared his new civilian title, resulting in an explosive clash of egos that ended with the anchor’s coffee being weaponized and a dramatic un-mic drop.

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The air in the CNN studio was so thick you could cut it with a ceremonial gold butter knife. Exactly 24 hours after being relieved of office, Donald Trump sat opposite an visibly nervous network anchor, his iconic hair lacquered into a defiant, aerodynamic wave.

"Welcome, Mr. Trump," the anchor began, taking a cautious sip of his lukewarm coffee.

"Excuse me," Trump interrupted, holding up a large, accusatory finger. "Wrong. Extremely wrong. I am not Mr. Trump. The American people said loud and clear yesterday that I am a civilian, yes, but specifically, I am the 47th President—and the 45th! Double president. Nobody has ever done that. And quite frankly, being 'relieved' is a very nasty word used by a very fake-news network."

"Right. Well, yesterday marked the official transfer of power to the new administration—"

"A transition! A terrible, rigged transition!" Trump barked, shifting aggressively in his swivel chair. "Let me tell you, I have the best transitions. Everyone is saying it. I was in my home—a beautiful home, the best real estate—and I was watching your ratings, which by the way, are terribly low. Nobody watches CNN. My ratings yesterday were bigger than the moon landing! You had five people watching, maybe six."

The anchor tried to regain control, holding up a fact-check sheet. "Moving on, sir, the incoming administration has already started to audit—"

"A witch hunt!" Trump shouted, leaning so far forward the studio lights reflected entirely off his signature red tie. "A pure witch hunt! You know who audits? Crooked people. Just like your network. Very crooked, very nasty. They’re looking at my documents. Beautiful documents. I had the most documents. And by the way, I showed those documents to a golf caddy, a highly respected caddy named Dave. And Dave said to me, 'Sir, your documents are fantastic.' Much better than the ones your fake historians talk about!"

"Sir," the anchor sighed, rubbing his temples. "We are here to discuss your time out of office and how you plan to—"

"I don't plan! I do!" Trump said, crossing his arms with a triumphant smirk. "The day after is even better than the day before. I'm building a new desk. The most beautiful, giant desk. It's going to be so large it makes the Resolute Desk look like a child’s coloring table."

The anchor leaned back. "So you won't be contesting the peaceful transfer of power?"

"I am the most peaceful man! But the election was—" Trump paused, pointing violently at the anchor's mug. "Is that Starbucks? You’re drinking liberal coffee. It’s terrible. You know who loves my coffee? Everybody."

"Mr. Trump, please—"

"It’s President Trump!" Trump yelled, suddenly unzipping his suit jacket and standing up so fast his microphone gave the audio booth a collective heart attack. "I've had enough of this. You're a third-rate network. You are either crooked or you are stupid! I gave you the biggest ratings you’ve had in years, and you treat me with such disrespect, such hatred!"

In a theatrical display of defiance, he dramatically unclipped his lapel mic, looked directly into the camera, and muttered, "Thank you, darling. Have a good time."

With the grand finale approaching, Trump reached down, grabbed the anchor's lukewarm coffee, and gently placed it exactly on top of his folded NBC interview notes from earlier that week. He then spun on his heel, signaling his invisible bodyguards, and stormed off the set into the darkened green room, shouting about his golf handicap as the studio doors slammed shut.