Trump giving advice to his young self

I asked the Google search bar:

Please make a funny video about Donald Trump teaching a very young Donald Trump about winning elections.

Here's the answer:

[Scene: A gold-plated, overly opulent office. Adult Donald Trump sits behind a massive desk. Across from him sits 6-year-old Donald Trump, wearing an identical oversized red tie and a tiny, perfectly coiffed hair toupee.]

Adult Trump: (Leaning forward, gesturing with wide hands) Look at you. Little Donald. Tremendous hair. The best genetics, frankly. But you know nothing about winning elections yet. Sad!

Tiny Trump: (Crossing his tiny arms, pouting) I win at musical chairs. I win bigly. Everyone says so.

Adult Trump: Musical chairs is good, but elections? Elections are beautiful. Let me tell you the first rule: crowd size. If you have three kids at your birthday party, you tell the press there were three million.

Tiny Trump: (Squinting) What if the teacher takes a picture?

Adult Trump: Fake news, Little Donald! You just say the camera angle was biased. Very unfair camera.

Tiny Trump: (Nodding solemnly, taking notes with a giant gold crayon) Unfair camera. Got it. What about the snacks? Do I give them juice boxes to vote for me?

Adult Trump: No juice boxes! You promise them the biggest, most beautiful chocolate cake anyone has ever seen. Then, you eat the cake. Winning!

Tiny Trump: (Eyes wide) And if they complain?

Adult Trump: You give them a nickname. The kid who wants juice? "Leaky Luke." The kid who wants recess? "Lazy Larry." Total disasters, both of them.

Tiny Trump: (Smiles broadly, pointing a tiny index finger) You’re fired, Larry!

Adult Trump: (Wipes a tear from his eye) Beautiful. Just beautiful. You’re ready. Go out there and make recess great again.

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