Trump amends the constitution

I asked in the Google search bar:

Please write a funny script about amendments that Donald Trump wants to make to the US Constitution.

Here's the response: 

[Scene: The Briefing Room. Donald Trump stands at the podium, flanked by massive charts. A loyal aide holds a golden binder labeled: "The Constitution: 2.0 (The Better Version)."]

Donald: (Leaning into the microphone) Ladies and gentlemen, the Constitution. A good document. Written by some very smart people, but frankly, it’s outdated. Missing a lot of things. Low energy. So, we’ve made some amendments. The best amendments.

[The aide flips to the first chart. It shows a drawing of a television screen with 100% ratings.]

Donald: First up, the First Amendment. It’s okay, but it’s too broad. We are updating it to the Freedom of Praise Amendment. You have total freedom to say how great the economy is, how beautiful my rallies are, and how tremendous my hair looked in the debate. If you want to talk about anything else? Fake news. Straight to jail.

[The aide flips to the next chart: a drawing of a golf cart with a roaring rocket booster attached to the back.]

Donald: Next, the Twenty-Eighth Amendment. Very important. The Right to Play Through. If the President is on the golf course, and he is hitting a beautiful, 400-yard drive, you cannot slow him down. If you are a slow group ahead of me, it is a federal crime. Total immunity for hitting into the group ahead. Beautiful.

[The aide flips to a chart showing a calendar with the months "Trumpuary" and "Donaldber" scribbled in gold marker.]

Donald: Then we have the Term Limits. People talk about two terms. Sad! We are introducing The Infinite Term. But to make it fair, we are changing the calendar. A presidential term will now last until I say it’s over. We’re adding three new months to the year, all named after me, so we get more done.

[The aide flips to the final chart: a giant, golden eagle wearing a red tie.]

Donald: Finally, The Royalties Amendment. Every time anyone says the word "Huge," "Tremendous," or "Disaster," they owe the Trump Organization five cents. We’ll pay off the national debt in three weeks.

[Donald pats the golden binder affectionately.]

Donald: It’s going to be beautiful, folks. James Madison would look at this and cry. He’d say, "Donald, I wish I thought of the golf cart rule."

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