Jesus tests Trump on Christianity

 I asked the Google search bar:

write a funny script about Jesus testing Donald Trump on Christianity. Trump should arrogantly correct Jesus at some point.

Here's the response:

[SETTING: A blindingly white, opulent office with plush gold carpets. Jesus, wearing a simple linen robe, is sitting at a large desk. Donald Trump paces back and forth, adjusting his red tie.]

JESUS: Donald, it is good of you to meet me. We’re here to review your grasp of the core teachings of Christianity. Let's start with a foundational commandment.

TRUMP: Good to be here. Tremendous teachings, many people are saying it. The best teachings. Nobody knows the Bible better than me, frankly. Very beautiful stuff.

JESUS: I see. Then let's start with one of my favorites from the Sermon on the Mount Matthew 5: "Blessed are the meek..."

TRUMP: Excuse me, excuse me. Wrong. It’s "the weak." Everybody makes that mistake, but it’s actually "Blessed are the weak." Because I win, okay? I win, and I make things strong. Meek is losing, and I don't like losers. So, you're welcome for the correction.

JESUS: (Blinks) The... weak?

TRUMP: Yes, the weak. Very sad people. But we love them. We make them feel very strong. It’s what I do. Now, are there any other very important, beautiful questions for me?

JESUS: (Sighs and rubs his temples) Let’s try another one. What is the greatest commandment?

TRUMP: Oh, that's an easy one. The absolute greatest. People come up to me every day with tears in their eyes and ask, "Sir, what’s the greatest commandment?" And I tell them—and it’s true—it is to always build a tremendous wall. A beautiful wall. And you make the Romans pay for it.

JESUS: I am quite sure I said, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind," and to "Love your neighbor as yourself."

TRUMP: Very overrated, to be honest. Neighbors? Some neighbors are very nasty. Very unfair. We build the wall, we secure the borders, and then we tax them. Huge tariffs. It’s beautiful. You should try it, Jesus. You’re doing a good job, but my economy is much better.

JESUS: (Stares blankly for a moment, then smiles faintly) Right. And what about the concept of turning the other cheek Matthew 5:39?

TRUMP: Terrible. Weak! If somebody hits you, you hit them back, ten times harder. You fight fire with fire. You never, ever surrender. That’s how you win.

JESUS: But I taught that if someone slaps you on the right cheek, you should turn to them the other also.

TRUMP: And look where that got you, frankly. Nailed to a piece of wood. A very nasty crucifixion, not good. I prefer not to get crucified. I prefer winners, okay? Winners.

JESUS: (Leans back in his chair) Well, Donald, I appreciate your unique perspective. It has been... quite enlightening.

TRUMP: Good. I think you did a fantastic job listening. We’re going to make Heaven great again. It’s going to be huge. Tremendous gold. You’re going to love it.